#iamimperfectlyme Week 4

Today marks the fourth week that I have been doing my #iamimperfectlyme Lent challenge (see what it's all about here). I thought I would give you guys a little update of how it's going! 

Since I wrote my last post (see it here) all the thoughts that I have put into my negative thought jar have been about my body. Whether it's that I am fat, I don't look good that day, etc., they all revolve around my appearance. I was thinking about this and I feel like this is due to the media. We are constantly told that we need to have the perfect body, even if that body is unobtainable. I've been trying really hard, every time I have a bad thought about my body, to think about it logically. 

For example, one of the thoughts I have frequently is that because my posture when I sit is poor I look fat. My posture being poor and me being fat are completely unrelated. If I want to fix my posture that's one thing. I can consciously sit up more or I can do yoga to work on my posture. Just because I am not sitting up straight does not automatically mean that I am fat. Thinking about my thoughts like this helps me realize how irrational these thoughts are.

One good thing I have noticed, however, is that most days I don't have too many negative thoughts. I can go whole days without thinking badly of myself. Part of this is that I am just busy. I only have about 5 weeks left of university before graduation. I think the majority, though, is that I have made such a conscious effort to stop thoughts in their tracks. I am able to occupy my mind with other topics, not just bad things about myself. 

Connected to this, I have also noticed that my thoughts tend to be constructive. I think things like "sit up straight" or "wash your face soon" instead of thinking that I look fat or ugly. This has overall made me happier with myself. I have found myself presenting myself better, dressing well, doing my hair every day, etc. I feel much more confident with myself and I enjoy putting the effort in every day. Sometimes when we feel fat, ugly, or whatever we think is wrong with ourselves, we don't want to put in any effort to ourselves. We don't get dressed in the morning, we don't shower for a few days and then we inevitably just feel worse about ourselves. It turns into a cycle that we can't get out of easily. 

These four weeks of this challenge have showed me how much strength I have. I am learning how much confidence I have in myself. This confidence generates a positive cycle in my life. I feel better about my appearance so I present myself better. Seeing that I look nice each day makes me feel better about myself, and the cycle continues. 

Overall, I think that so far this challenge has had a very positive effect on my life. I am obviously not perfect and still think bad things about myself. However, I am better able to stop these thoughts in their tracks and tell myself why this thought is wrong. 

The challenge is ending soon, so I'll do another post towards the end of it!

P.S. the tea of the day is chai tea ^_^