I have always thought that I was good at being alone. I enjoy spending time alone reading books, watching movies, etc. However, I've realized over the past few days that I enjoyed this because I was happy, or at least content, with my life.
If you read my last post (here) you know that I had a rather difficult week. I was upset and ended up spending a lot of time alone. I discovered that when I was sad, and had to spend time alone, I simply became lonely. I seemed to be incapable of dealing with my sadness alone.
I spent three days relatively alone and incredibly lonely. That was when I realized that I was making life worse for myself. I was my own worst enemy.
When I wrote my last post about letting go it was very cathartic, yet it left me feeling empty. I tried to live what I had spoken about here, but I was finding it very difficult. I finally understood that I wasn't letting myself let go and move on. I was waiting around for someone to pick me up, dust me off, and make everything okay again.
But only I could do that.
While I wouldn't say I'm completely happy yet (it hasn't even been a week since I was hurt) I feel decent. I know that whether I receive a text, see my friends, or spend time alone doing yoga I will be okay. I better understand the difference between being lonely and being alone.
Lonely is defined as "standing apart; isolated".
Alone is defined as "without aid or help".
While the definitions of these two words are similar, there is one key difference. Being lonely isolates you while being alone means you do not need help. It doesn't mean that you don't have people supporting you, simply that you don't NEED them to move forward. You are capable of moving on and being happy on your own, without the aid of other people.
I think we should all become better at being alone; fully understanding that while the people we love might not be with us every second that doesn't mean we can't be happy. We are capable of being happy without aid or help from others.
P.S. the tea of the day is a Tiger Chai Latte from a local cafe ^_^